Dressing Traditionally: Stop Misgendering my Son!

by - July 20, 2018

If I had £1 for every time Bowie was called 'She' or referred to as a 'Girl' I would be as rich as Charlie from Love Island and I wouldn't need to write this blog post because I'd be long gone on my private jet traveling the world. 

There is a common, dare I say ignorant, misconception that putting your Son in a bonnet or a romper or a thrill or two (you're absolutely screwed if you throw a bow in the mix) must mean that you were desperate for a Girl and are trying to make up for it by dressing the poor thing like one (let me tell you now If I had a girl she wouldn't be dressed like this)

 In most cases, this couldn't be further from the truth. I've always wanted a Boy, always pictured myself with a Son by my side and yet despite constantly having Prince George splashed across the media in nothing but Traditional clothing the majority of people seem to find it hard that little Boys could possibly wear something other than a pair of jeans and a t-shirt with a tractor or a dinosaur on it. 

When it comes to adults people with unique and individual style are celebrated, you don't want to be caught in the same dress as someone else at the Wedding because that will be damn right awkward and when Lady GaGa steps out in a dress made of Kermit the Frog heads, well thats inspirational. But if you venture into a supermarket or the high street you get lost in a labyrinth of isle upon isle of pretty dresses, fur coats, lace socks, tutu skirts and all sorts for girls and when you ask where the boys section is you're directed towards a dusty old broom closet with a couple of pairs of poor fitting denim jeans and a highly flammable paw patrol t-shirt. 

This week Prince Louis Christening photos were released of him wearing a traditional lace Christening dress and when he was newborn we first saw him in a knitted bonnet. I bet you not one member of the public batted an eyelid but if I dare to put my Son in a bonnet then he MUST be a Girl because Boys don't wear bonnets!. 

It is rare that Bowie is not head to toe in Blue (the Colour generally associated with boys) yet despite this he could also have a huge flashing arrow above his head suspended mid air reading 'This Baby Is a Boy' with Britney Spears 'Boys' playing on a loop and people still love to call him She and Her! 

Once when I corrected a lady calling Bowie a Girl she replied 'Oh, well I guess you do dress him like a Boy.. in Victorian times' in a hugely sarcastic tone, and its people like her that have prompted me to write this blog post. 

 Assuming Bowie is a girl but apologising and correcting yourself, thats not a big deal, he has blue eyes, a pretty face and blonde curly hair, I get it, mistakes are easily made, toddlers all look a bit like walking potatoes with teeth, its fine. 

But when its obviously directed at the way he is dressed and you're making sarcastic comments about his outfits and the way I chose to dress MY Son, thats when Misgendering is not acceptable and god help you for not being born an absaloute style icon like myself. I bet your 20 year old Son is at home in his Paw Patrol tee avoiding naked flames as we speak. 

And its not just how I dress Bowie but also how I chose not to cut his hair. We're all over Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp and Lucius Malfoy?? (Just me then) with their long lushious locks but if a regular little boy has long hair or, shall I even speak the words.. a pony tail *the gasps of the small minded ring in unison* then he must be a girl or I must be some kind of child abuser.  Bowies hair is my pride and joy, he has beautiful golden curls that fall around his shoulders and I have no intentions, not even one of cutting it! and when its hot and his neck is at risk of getting sweaty then I put it up in a ponytail or a cute little man bun and thats the way I like it, just call me the British, much chunkier version of Kourtney Kardashian. 

 Bowie could walk out in a pair of blue trousers and a blue t-shirt with the word BOY splashed across it and due to his little top Knott he will be called a girl, multiple times, but multiple people. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is Boys can dress in whatever they want and we, as parents can dress them however we chose. We can put them in Pink! we can put them in rompers and shorts and shirts with trills and collars. I can dress Bowie like Shakespeare, I can put his hair in a bun, he can wear a pair of sodding jelly shoes! And none of that should take away from his Gender identity or make him any less of a boy than the little boy in the football kit with a shaved head!

Gender stereotypes need to end and I shouldn't be judged or have comments passed about Bowie wearing a bonnet or knee high socks or pushing his baby doll in his toy pram. He can play with a rugby ball and a truck but he can play with a kitchen and a shopping trolley too and I hope that we can head towards a future when girls and boys genders aren't assumed based on their clothing or their toys and more so that they aren't judged based on them..

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